The vocabulary of dom/sub is employed to to star the SCOBY in an overt position of power. The underlying postulation in this work is the persuasion of the microbial on human desires, and the work is my reckoning with this relationship via an attempt to confuse power dynamics. This becoming—becoming contaminated, dominated, non-human, more-than-human, host, parasite, is one that is ridden with danger and seduction.